


A Different Sort of Romance

by KNACC



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Shepard and Garrus are not good at this, the tinest bit of angst due to Shepard's past death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7522189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KNACC/pseuds/KNACC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garrus figures out that he has feelings for Shepard and after a little push, decides to do something about them (aka a Mass Effect 2 romance overhaul story).</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Different Sort of Romance

**Author's Note:**

> I've been meaning to write a story like this for years. When I first started playing Mass Effect, I fell for Garrus almost immediately and ended up being single for the whole first game in anticipation of being able to date him in Mass Effect 2. The path of their romance seemed obvious to me; two good friends who through the medium of their friendship, develop romantic and possibly also sexual feelings for each other. It seemed like it was going to be just the sort of romance story that works for someone like me (aka someone on the ace spectrum). Then of course I finally made it to the first romance scene in 2 and was horrified by my Shepard who seemed to think the only way to move their relationship from friends to romantic partners was through a sexy little fling. I did end up enjoying parts of the romance (mostly because Garrus is precious) but it has always irked me that Shepard is forced to be so aggressively sexual to commence that relationship when my Shepard would never have been that way. Because of all of that and a few stupid headcanons I had sitting around gathering dust, I wrote this story in which friends who have harboring romantic feelings for each other stumble their way into a sweet little romance.

Garrus has no idea if Shepard is attractive by human standards.  He knows that she definitely isn't by turian ones; the curves of her body are too soft, her mouth too flexible and strangely expressive and then there's her hair.  Garrus doesn't know how he feels about hair.  Actually, that's a lie, he generally feels nothing about human hair, it's just another strange part of them (like their ears) but when it comes to Shepard's hair, well, his feelings are a bit more... complex.  And that's the problem really.  

Ever since she'd reappeared in his life in just the nick of time to save him from his own terrible mistake like some knight in shining armor, there's been a little something… extra going on whenever he's thought about her or is around her.  At first, he thought he was just relieved, not to be saved because he didn't deserve that, but that she was alive. Shepard's death had hit him hard (as losing your best friend often will) and seeing her back in the world and kicking ass had felt...  good, proper, like the order of the world had finally been set back to right.  But then the feeling didn't go away, didn't fade into the background like he'd expected, had actually grown stronger once she'd helped him deal with Sydonis and still he's brushing it off.  She _had_ literally come back from the dead, a fate impossible for anyone but Shepard, so of course it might take him awhile to get used to her being a part of his life again.

But then one day, he's just minding his own business, eating in the mess and Shepard joins him like she often does.  They're shooting the shit, exchanging combat stories and then Garrus's recount of a debacle back in his trainee days really cracks Shepard up.  She's laughing, her soft, human mouth wide and gaping and her big, human eyes squeezed shut and leaking fluids as she laughs and Garrus knows that this technically isn't an attractive sight but still in that moment, he feels his chest clench and he wants to touch her so desperately he has to force himself to keep eating.  And when he finally finishes up his meal and and heads off to continue his calibrations, she turns and smiles as she says goodbye and it takes all his willpower to not reach out and squeeze her shoulder in response. _Maybe I'm attracted to humans?_ he thinks as he make his way through the corridors, past memories of Shepard now making slightly more sense in this new light.

He waits until he finishes his shift, then sneaks off to use the extranet to check up on this new theory.  He quickly discovers from looking at pictures of "attractive" human women that most of them do nothing for him, though the ones that share traits with Shepard do sometimes make him smile just a bit.  He sighs in relief, certain that it had just been a fluke, only to find himself staring at Shepard the next time she stops by his work station to chat. _It's only her_ , he realizes, his mouth dry with mild panic.  

"Something wrong, Garrus?"  she says, her big eyes meeting his steadily and snapping him out of his trance.

"N-no, nothing wrong," he says, looking away from her and back to his console as his mandibles flutter slightly, "just remembered I was in the middle of some calibration when you came in, that's all.  I should probably get back to those."  He glances back at her just in time to see her mouth fall.

"Well, I hate to keep you from your work," she sighs, her eyes taking him in as she talks.  "Hopefully I'll see you at the mess for dinner then?"

"Definitely," he says without thinking, "see you then."

She nods her head and smiles slightly before disappearing back into the hall and leaving Garrus alone with his thoughts.  He sighs.

He's pretty sure that from an outsider's perspective, this seemingly inexplicable attraction to Shepard would be a sure sign that he's gone nuts but at the same time, if he really thinks about it, developing feelings for Shepard really isn't all that weird.  She's strong willed, fiercely kind and the kind of hands on leader both on and off the field that Garrus really respects.  He remembers when they'd picked up Tali from the Citadel and she was eager to help but also deeply homesick and Shepard had checked up on her nearly every day, had asked her questions about her home and even let her hang out in the engine room all the time because she found the noise soothing.  

And she's that way about everyone on her crew, both deeply interested in their well being and in who they are as people, as if both were equally important.  Shepard makes you feel special, inspires you to be better and gives you the chance to do it too.  She also can't dance to save her life, has a dumb sense of humor and is a crack shot to boot.  Aside from the fact that she has no physical traits that Garrus normally finds attractive, she's basically his ideal woman so really it makes perfect sense.

The only question is, what does he do now that he knows how he feels?  The obvious answer is nothing.  The likelihood that Shepard feels the same way he does seem pretty slim and even if she does, now isn't really a great time, what with the Collectors taking humans left and right.  He decides that he'll figure out what to do about his silly little crush after they blow up the Collector base.  Until then, he'll just need to make sure to keep his feelings under wraps which shouldn't be too hard since Shepard probably has no idea what a smitten turian looks like anyway.

***

Once his shift is done, he shows up in the mess hall like he'd promised and there is Shepard, talking animatedly at Tali, her hands waving as she makes some point Garrus can't hear.  She glances away from Tali to the doorway just in time to see him standing there with his dinner and lights ups, her eyes getting wider and her mouth big and upturned.  His breath hitches as he meets her eyes and she waves him over.   _Oh, I'm so screwed_ , he thinks, taking a deep breath to steel himself as he heads over to join her and Tali at their table.

"Garrus, just the guy I was hoping to see," she says once he gets closer, "Do you think you could help me and Tali settle a little disagreement?"

Garrus glances back and forth between Shepard and Tali, already pretty sure that this is not a great idea.  "I guess I can try... what is this about?" he says, setting his tray down on the table as he carefully sits on the slightly too small human chair.

"Tali and I are just having a friendly little argument about _Fleet and Flotilla_ -"

"And how she's somehow completely missed what a beautiful, moving film it is."  Tali interrupts, shaking her head.  "How a good, kind person like you can _not_ be rooting for Bellicus and Shalei by the end is beyond me."

Shepard smiles sheepishly, "But I am, of course I am."  She pauses, thinking over her words before she adds, "You have to admit though... the whole thing is a bit cheesy, right?"

"Do you see what I'm up against?" Tali turns her helmet to look at Garrus and he pauses with his food halfway to his mouth.  "She's beyond reason.  Please tell her what an important work of cinema it is."

He sets down his folk and looks between the two women again, trying to figure out the most diplomatic way to deal with this situation.  If only they just needed him to shoot someone instead.  After a moment, he turns to Shepard and says, "You do know it's won awards, right?"

"I'm not saying it doesn't deserve them," she shrugs.  "It's just, I have a hard time buying into that whole star-crossed, love at first sight thing.  Love isn't anything like that.  It's more like," she squints her eyes at Garrus for a moment before continuing, "you meet someone and as you get to know them, like really know them, you start to understand that there's nothing you want more in life then to wake up next to them every day for the rest of your life, you know?"

Garrus blinks at her, on some level sure that he knows exactly what she means because that's just what's happened to him and on a whole other level wondering if there's possibly a reason other than the fact that she was answering his question that she's been making eye contact with him throughout this whole thing.

He's opening his mouth, just about to answer when Shepard jumps to her feet.  "Sorry, hold that thought for a second; I need to bother Joker about some important computer misuse."

Garrus watches her walk away in stunned silence.  A moment later, Tali coughs.  

He looks at her and she shakes her head at him, laughing slightly.  "So are you going to ask her out or not?"

Garrus's eyes widen.  "W-why would I do that?"

"Keelah, you're both hopeless," Tali brings a hand up to her visor,  "Did you not get what she was just saying to you?"

"That's not proof of anything; she was just explaining why she thinks _Fleet and Flotilla_ is a little silly-"

Tali cuts him off, "While making eye contact with you the whole time for no reason?"

Garrus lowers his voice and leans nearer to Tali.  "So you really think- she... uh, likes me?"

Tali lets out a little groan.  "Look, I'm only telling you this because even though I know she's seen all of _Fleet and Flotilla_ , she still somehow has no idea what a smitten turian looks like and refuses to believe my expert opinion."  She shakes her head.

"And why should I believe you about all of this?" Garrus raises a disbelieving brow ridge.  "It's not really Shepard's style to wait for someone else to make the first move."

Tali sighs.  "You really don't get it at all, do you?  This isn't a battlefield or the council's chamber, this is her personal life."  Garrus just stares at her so she adds, shaking her head, "She's spent basically her whole life serving the galaxy, do you really think she's had a lot of dating experience?"

"Ohhhh, right," Garrus says. He'd always thought of Shepherd's confidence as unflappable but then again, diplomacy and marksmanship are nothing like romance.  He knows that from experience.  "Guess that makes two of us then," he chuckles.

"That's exactly the problem," Tali waves her hand emphatically, "You two boshtets are locked into some sort of stalemate and if Shepard's going to be happy, one of you two has to give and I'm pretty sure it has to be you."

Garrus lets out a sigh, his mind torn between caution and optimism.  "Alright, let's say I believe you for the moment, do you really think now is a good time for this?"

Tali's shoulders fall. "Don't you get it?" she says, tone somber suddenly, "Now might be the only time you have."  She leans in closer and says quietly, "Shepard's already died once and you nearly followed her there on Omega."  She tilts her head at him and then adds, "That's not even mentioning Shepard's general lack of self preservation instinct or how dangerous our current mission is so... what are you waiting for exactly?"

Garrus swallows, a sinking feeling settling in his stomach at her words. "Well, when you put it like that…"

"Put what like what?" Shepard says as she sits back down on her side of the table, shocking both Tali and Garrus out of their dour mood.  She looks back and forth between the two of them for a moment and then adds, "You both look awful serious, is everything alright?"

Garrus chuckles awkwardly.  "Of course it is… Tali had just been uh... arguing the finer points of-"

" _Fleet and Flotilla_ ," Tali adds, the words rushing out of her almost as if they're one word.

"Right," Garrus nods, " _Fleet and Flotilla_ and I'm... sorry to say this, Shepard, but I think I have to go with Tali on this one."

Shepard squints her eyes at both of them, obviously not quite believing what Garrus has said before she shakes her head and says, "Well, I guess every great man has to have his flaws."

Garrus's brow ridges fly up as his mandible flutter and for at least the second time today, he's glad that Shepard can't read Turian body language.

***

Tali finishes drinking her liquid meal and leaves the table soon after, giving Garrus an encouraging nod as she goes.  Garrus picks at his food, nerves about what he intends to do making eating harder than expected.  Shepard seems to notice but she doesn't push him on it, instead just talking to him and eating her own meal as if nothing is unusual.  When Shepard finishes and gets up to go, Garrus quickly stands up too, the slightly too small chair flying backwards as he does so.

"I'm just going back to my quarters, Garrus, you don't need to get up," she smiles up at him, eyes big and fond.

Garrus doesn't know exactly what he's doing but he does know that if he's going to do this, he needs to do it in private.  "Do you think I could walk you there maybe?  I need to... do some calibration over in the area anyway."  It's a bad lie but it will have to do for now.

"Alright," she says, a hint of disbelief flickering across her features before they settle into a smile.  "Let me deal with our trays while you pick up that chair and then we can go."

Garrus hands over his tray, his shoulders falling when Shepard turns to go and return them.  "Stupid human furniture," he mumbles to himself as he recovers the chair and sets it back where it belongs.  When he looks up from his task, Shepard is already in the doorway waiting for him.  He lets out a sigh, steeling himself and then goes to join her.

They start off talking amicably but again Garrus is having trouble focusing, his mind racing for some semblance of a plan.  He's executed stage one which is to get her alone but after that, the rest of the plan is hazy.  Ask her out to a restaurant perhaps?  Probably somewhere on the Citadel so that it will have food both of them can eat?  Garrus's favorite restaurant from his C-Sec days would probably fit the bill as long as it's still there but to be honest, he doesn't really know human dating customs and is therefore unsure if such a simple invitation will really be enough to signify his greater interest.  It's not like friends don't often eat together, so how can he make sure she'll understand his intentions?

He realizes that they've already reached her door and that Shepard is looking up at him with concern, probably because after a promising start, he'd been mostly silent for the whole trip.  "Are you okay, Garrus?  You've been acting awfully strange today."

"I'm fine," he says, watching as Shepard's eyes narrow in disbelief, "It's just, I was wondering… you see, there's this nice little place on the Citadel, use to go there all the time when I was a part of C-Sec and it's got these great little… what is the human word for it… meatballs? I think and then you eat them in a sort of bread pocket thing," he sets his one hand into the palm of the other as if to pantomime how the whole process works before looking up from his hands to meet Shepard's eyes. She tilts her head at him and starts to open her mouth so Garrus rushes to add, "Anyway, the point is, I was just curious if maybe there's a chance that you might like to eat dinner with me there sometime?"

Shepard just stares at him, eyes wide, her soft cheeks shifting from their normal color to a more pink hue and then darker.  "Garrus," she says a moment later, voice less even than he's ever heard it before, "Are you asking me out on a date?  Like a real, actual date?"

"Yes?" he says, considering her strange expression before adding, "I mean, unless that's inappropriate-"

"No, not at all," she waves her hands, "in fact it's… wonderful.  I'd love to go on a date with you."  She smiles up at him and then tentatively sets her hand on the middle of his chest before chuckling a little.

He looks down at the point of contact, feeling as the warmth and the slight pressure of it makes his stomach do flipflops.  He thinks for a moment and then carefully sets his hand on top of hers.  "That's, uh, really good to hear, commander."  

She chuckles again, her cheeks still a deep red color.  "Now there's something I never expected to hear in this sort of situation."

Garrus laughs awkwardly.  "Right… it's just, old habits and all that."

"It's alright…" her smile falters slightly, "though, now that I'm really thinking about it, I don't think we really can go on that date, no matter how much I want to."

"Oh," Garrus's shoulders fall, "Is it because you're my C/O?"

Shepard starts to laugh, the hand she has on his chest squeezing a little as she does.  "Noooo, I'm pretty sure I'm only in charge in the very loosest of senses here.  Though if you're uncomfortable with the fact that I frequently give you orders, it's something we can discuss-"

"No," Garrus shakes his head, gently squeezing her hand back, "I was just worried there were rules or something I didn't know about."

"Spectres, even recently resurrected ones like me don't have rules, remember?" She grins like it's some sort of personal joke but Garrus doesn't really get it.

"Right," he nods, deciding not to worry about it.  "So in that case, what's the problem?"

"Oh, it's just that we're on a pretty tight schedule at the moment and I don't think we have time to just swing over to the Citadel, especially for something as uhh… non-essential as a date."  She smiles but for some reason, it looks sadder than before.  "Sorry."

Garrus feels so stupid he could nearly hit himself.  Of course Shepard, who always puts others and her mission first would never detour the whole Normandy just for herself.  He's going to need to think of a more practical date-like option and fast.  "No, that's alright," he blurts out, his mind racing for a solution, "maybe instead... I can just go try and scourge us up a bottle of wine or something right now?  Make a night of it."  

Shepard tilts her head at him, her eyes wide and the hint of a smile on her lips.  "You really want to go through all that trouble just to sit around and drink wine with me in my room?"

"Honestly, right now I'd do anything to keep being this close to you," he says, the words tumbling out before he thinks better of them.  He watches as her cheeks darken all over again and this time he's almost positive that they're a good sign.

"Dammit Garrus," she says, pushing her face into his chest as if to hide her blush, "you can't just say stuff like that."

He chuckles, "Not even if I really mean it?"

She looks up at him and smiles.  "I'd say you should pinch me because I must be dreaming but my dreams are never this nice."

Garrus laughs.  "What, no turian bad boys sweeping you off your feet?"

Shepard smacks him lightly on the chest with the back of her free hand, "Come on, bad boy, I bet I have something serviceable in my quarters from the last time we drank."  She flips her other hand around and grabs his before leading them into her quarters.  He marvels at how such a firm grip and a warm feeling in his gut could come out of such a small hand.  Once inside, she drops his hand saying, "Just give me a sec," before she hurries over to the cabinet and starts looking for some sort of alcohol.

Garrus looks around, just hovering in the doorway and feeling a bit of his earlier nerves creeping up on him.  It's not like this is his first time in Shepard's room, far from it but none of those previous circumstances had ever been quite like this before.  The closest had been the aforementioned post-mission drinking session, where they'd both gotten particularly trashed in celebration of a job well done.  Garrus remembers feeling warm, a slight flutter dancing through his gut everytime Shepard passed him the bottle and her fingers brushed his talons.  He'd just through he was very drunk.  "I'm an idiot," he says without particularly meaning to.

"I disagree completely," Shepard says, the upper half of her torso mostly in the cabinet, "I'm the one who can't find a simple bottle of Turian Brandy."

"No, I just," he pauses then decides to just tell her, "remember the last time I was here to drink?"

"Of course I do.  It was a hell of a night," she says, finally extracting herself from the cabinet with a bottle of brandy in her hand. "What about it?"

"I'm just realizing that if past me knew what I know now, he'd have done that night a lot differently."

She looks up at him and smiles, "Damn, now I'm wishing I'd known I had a chance with you way back then."

Garrus chuckles, "Ahh, been carrying a torch for me for awhile then, Shepard?"

She shakes her head and sighs. "You have no idea."

He blinks at her, a bit surprised by her answer.  Technically, he knows his understanding of human expressions is limited but thinking he'd missed Shepard's feelings for so long makes him feel a little dumb.  "That long really?"

She nods.  "Do you want to hear the creepy version or the sad version?"

"I'm thinking the honest version?" he says, putting a hand gently on her shoulder. "Unless you really don't want to tell me that one."

Shepard looks up at him and grimaces.  "Let's just say that after we beat Saren and the crew were all going their separate ways, I had a really hard time not asking you to stay."

Garrus feels his heart clench.  "You know I would have in a heartbeat.  I loved my time on the first Normandy."

"Yeah, that's why I didn't ask," she says, looking down at her feet, "I needed to let you go live your own life."

He sets his hand on her jaw, paying particular mind to his claws as he tilts her face back up to look at him.  "Well right now, the only life I want has you in it."  He watches as her mouth falls open, her cheeks turning that dark red color again.  He leans down and she tilts her head up until the ridge of their noses is just touching.  A moment later, he feels her soft lips press to his upper lip plates.

She pulls back slightly, chuckling under her breath.  "Sorry, that was probably a strange thing for me to do."

Garrus pushes their faces back together, the warmth for her kiss still lingering on his plates and making his guts feel warm.  "Shepard, it's fine.  It's not like I'm completely clueless about human romantic rituals or something."  He rubs the ridge of his nose against hers.  "Just because I can't kiss you the way you're used to doesn't mean you should never kiss me like that.  To be honest," he says, taking in a deep breath, "it felt nice."

"Well in that case," she says, leaning in and pecking him on his lip plates again, a smile obviously on her lips. She kisses him two more times then lets her mouth wander, her lips coming to rest gently on his one scarred mandible.  He feels his stomach jolt at the contact, both of his mandibles fluttering and gently pushing Shepard's lips away.  She laughs.  "Was that okay?" she says, backing away so she can see his face.

"Yeah," he says, bringing his hand up to gently touch the spot she'd just kissed, "you just surprised me.  That mandible's a lot more sensitive than I'm used to."

"Should I not be kissing you there then?  Because there are plenty of other places-"

"No," Garrus shakes his head, reaching out to place a hand on Shepard's shoulder. "I mean yes, there are plenty of other places you can kiss on me and I'm interested in you trying them out but no to the whole 'not kissing me there' thing.  To be honest it feels," he pauses, trying to think of a good way to describe it to her before giving up and saying, "like I'm some sort of soft plated teenager all over again... if that makes any sense at all to you."  

She looks up at him and smiles, "I'll be extra gentle, promise."

"Thank-," Garrus starts to say before his words and breath get cut off by the very soft pressure of her lips pecking their way along his scarred mandible.

"That good?" she says, voice low, her lips just brushing against him as she talks.

Garrus lets out a shuddering breath, his mandible shaking as he says, "I think I'm far too sober for all of this.  Weren't you getting us brandy?"

Shepard pulls back and lifts up the bottle she's still holding.  "Sorry, I got a bit distracted by... well you."  She smiles then turns around and walks over to sit on her couch.  She uncorks the bottle and sniffs it before saying, "To us," and takes a long swig.

Garrus chuckles and sits down next to her.  She scoots slightly closer until their sides are touching, the warmth of her soft, small body sinking into his and warming his guts.  Then she holds the bottle up to him and he takes it, her fingers just brushing his.  "To us," he says, then changes his mind, locking eyes with Shepard as he says, "No, how about 'To you, the best thing that's ever happened to me,'" before he takes a pull on the bottle.  The brandy is just as fruity and biting as before but when he looks back at Shepard, she staring at him, mouth open and eyes wide.

"Do you really mean that?" she says, a new blush evident on on her cheeks.

"Of course I do; without you, I'd still be a frustrated C-Sec agent or maybe I'd just be a corpse, on Omega or otherwise.  You've saved me from myself, from my own stupid mistakes so many times, I don't know who I'd be if we'd never met but I do know I'd be a lot less happy."

Shepard smiles big, and after a moment of looking him up and down, climbs on to his lap.  He nearly drops the brandy but instead ends up resting it on the couch, his hand still holding the neck.  She gently sets her hand on the unscarred side of his face and tilts his face down to meet hers, setting her nose along the ridge of his and says, "You know Garrus, I feel the same way."  She then kisses him gently, first on the scar of his upper lip plate then on his scared mandible.

"Well good," he chuckles, his mandibles shuddering slightly from her kisses, "I'm glad we're both happy with this crazy decision because my dad is not going to like this one bit."

Shepard laughs, bracing herself on Garrus's shoulder as if she's going to tip over in her mirth. "He does know I'm a war hero, right?"

"Doesn't matter I'm afraid," he shakes his head in mock disappointment.  "You're not exactly big on rules and these things matter to my dad."

"Well good new is," she says, squeezing his shoulder, "I'm absolutely positive my mom is going to love you."

Garrus chuckles, "Of course she will, you humans love your rebels."

Shepard starts laughing harder, her hand clamping down on his shoulder even more than before.  "Garrus," she gasps out between between chuckles, "I have some bad news for you.  You're not exactly what most humans would call a rebel."

"I'm not?" he says, cocking his head at her.

"The long work hours, the perfectionism when it comes to everything you do, your failure to flirt with your cute coworker who frequently stops by your workstation… I'm sorry to say this but you're a huge nerd."

Garrus is pretty sure he'd be more offended if something she'd said hadn't just reminded him of something very important he'd been forgetting all evening.  "Shit," he says, taking in a sharp breath, "I'm really sorry, Shepard but I just realized that I have a shift in three hours so I need to go."

"Come on, I was just teasing about the whole long hours thing-"

"Well I'm sadly not," he says, handing the bottle back to her and setting his hands on her waist before lifting her up and setting her back down on the couch, "I really need to go crash for a few hours or my shield cycling is not going to be up to specifications at all."

"Wait," she says, leaning across his lap and looking him in the eye, "You do those manually?  Isn't that a bit… excessive?"

"Not when your ship's default protocols are to shut them all down at once… and after I'd heard what happened to the original Normandy, well," he leans in and rubs their noses together, "I knew I needed to make sure that didn't happen again."

"Ohh Garrus," she says, her free hand cupping the side of his face as he pushes back into it.

"So yeah, that why even though I'd really want to stay," he pauses, daring to run the tip of his tongue across her top lip and getting a shuddery breath back in response, "I mean, really really want to stay, I have to go and sleep."  He moves her off his lap again and she blinks back at him as he stands up and goes to leave.

"Wait," she says, her free hand grabbing his wrist in a surprisingly strong grip, "you can sleep here."

He turns around, glancing from Shepard to the bed and back again.  "I don't think that's such a good idea.  I need to sleep sleep not.. umm 'sleep'," he makes figure quotes around the word, "and-"

"My offer was for you to actually sleep here.  I promise I'll be a complete gentlewoman, I just," she glances down and pulls her lips tight, "really don't want you to leave."   

Garrus closes the distance between them, sitting down next to her on the couch again before taking the brandy bottle out of her hands and setting it on the coffee table.  "Shepard," he says, tilting her face back up so she's looking at him, "You know things aren't going to go back to normal like nothing happened between us just because I walk out that door, right?  You're stuck with me now, whether you like it or not."  He chuckles.

"I'm not worried about that, it's just," she pauses, glancing away from him again, "I remember it, okay?" Garrus tilts his head and squeezes her hands so she continues, "The... cold vacuum of space, my last breath being ripped out of my lungs, I remember it all.  I've lived my whole life in space, was born and raised on stations and ships and I was never afraid.  But now, knowing what it's like out there and knowing that there are only shields and metal between me and all of that... well, I'm not sleeping so well really.  And I thought that maybe, if you slept here with me, it would help.  It's just," she looks up at him, and squeezes his hands back, "I know it's silly but I really find your presence very comforting-"

"Shepard," he cuts her off, "Am I the first person you've told about all of this?"

She raises an eyebrow at him.  "Hi, this is Commander Shepard, your fearless leader speaking, just dropping by to tell you that I'm too afraid to sleep at night and that just maybe, bringing me back from the dead was a horrible mistake."

He shakes his head, "I see you point but I'm sure Chakwas wouldn't have ratted you out Miranda or anything."

She sighs.  "You're right, I just… really didn't want to let anyone down-"

"You wouldn't have. We all respect the hell out of you, but it's not because you're perfect or anything. I mean, you're amazing, but we all know you're a person. And I know this isn't going to make much sense coming from me, but you need to take care of yourself."  He pauses, struggling to find the words he needs. "I don't know Shepard, you just need to... be a bit more selfish every once in awh-"

He stops as she leans into him; her eyes are wet but she's laughing.  He lets go of her hands and wraps his arms around her back. "I'm trying," she says, her voice muffled by the cloth of his uniform, "That's what this whole thing is really."

Garrus chuckles.  "If this is you being selfish," he leans his head down closer to her ear so he can whisper in it, "I think you should do it a lot more often."

Shepard starts laughing harder, smacking him gently in the chest with the back of her hand as she pulls away.  "Garrus," she gasps out between guffaws, "stop it, are you going to sleep here or not?"

"I'll stay," he meets her eyes and nods, "as long as you promise to talk to Chakwas tomorrow."

Shepard's laughing calms down to just a trickle and then she sighs.  "Fine, I promise.  I don't know how much good it will do but I promise."

"That's all I ask."  He looks over her shoulder at her bed.  "So how was this whole actually sleeping together thing going to work... because I probably should have been asleep like an hour ago and-"

"I assume you've seen a bed before, Vakarian," she says, raising an eyebrow, "we just go over there and use it.  Pretty straight forward."

"Haha, you're hilarious," he shakes his head, "but did you somehow manage to miss that I'm a hell of a lot taller than you."  He pointedly does not mention how her proximity and that shuddering breath she'd made earlier have made the idea of actually sleeping (and only sleeping) next to her sound very challenging because they're both adults and Shepard seems to think it will be fine.  It's not like he knows what to do when it comes to human females anyway so even without the time crunch, those things are probably best left for… future visits. Now he just has to hope that his body agrees with this whole plan or he might end up needing to have an embarrassing conversation when something... pops up.

"You'll fit just fine," she says, getting up off of the couch and grabbing his hand before leading him over to her bed.  "Now just take off your shoes and get on there and then I'll figure out where I fit best."

"Alright," he says, shaking his head as he sits down on the edge of the bed.  Her bed is much bigger than the bunk he normally sleeps on but he's still pretty sure that if doesn't curl up or sleep at least a little diagonally, his feet will be off the edge.  Sighing, he takes off his eyepiece and boots (leaving on his socks in hopes of avoiding stabbing Shepard in his sleep) and then attempts to get settled on her bed, eventually ending up curled on his side with the bulk of the empty space in front of him.  

Shepard walks around to the far side of the bed and then climbs on across from him, scooting closer and closer until her face is only a few inches from his, one arm draped over him, her breasts pushed into his chest.  He wraps his arm around her back, pulling the blanket up to her shoulders (Humans lose body heat easily if he remembers right), and she sighs, closing the last of the distance and rubbing her nose against his.  "See," she says, yawning a little, "easy."

Garrus chuckles, but doesn't argue.  They do fit together surprisingly well considering. He looks at her and her eyes are already closed, the built up exhaustion from her weeks and months of poor sleep pulling her down quickly.  He listens to her breath for a while, knowing that he should be trying to sleep himself but too fascinated by every little touch and action to get his brain to turn off.  "Shepard," he whispers a few minutes later, a nagging thought on the tip of his tongue in spite of his lack of desire to wake her up.

"Hmmm?" she murmurs, her eyes blinking at him slowly.

"I just wanted to apologize," he sighs, "This didn't end up being much of a date really."

Shepard shifts closer to him, then opens her eyes and meets his.  "Didn't you hear me earlier, Vakarian?  About _Fleet and Flotilla_ and all that?" Garrus nods but he obviously looks as unsure as he feels because she keeps talking.  "I don't need romance," she smiles, eyes tired but warm, "I just need you.  I just need this."  She shrugs and plants a gentle kiss on his upper lip plate.  "And if you're worried about the uhh… more physical parts of the relationship, I'm sure we'll get to those in good time.  Maybe even tomorrow, if you're free," she yawns, which might have undercut the arousing nature of what she'd just said if Garrus was not already too far gone for that.

He feels his guts twist, his mind temporarily blank until he manages to choke out, "I'll make sure to rearrange my schedule, Commander."

Shepard snickers a little, her hand on his back squeezing with affection.  "See that you do."

***

Shepard falls asleep first, the momentary distraction of their conversation quickly fading to exhaustion.  Garrus watches her sleep for a few minutes, watches as the tension drain out of her body and her usual determined expression fades to a peaceful one.   _She's beautiful_ , he thinks, the odd nature of the thought not even registering to him anymore, _how'd I ever get so lucky_?  He knows that if she was awake, she'd argue it wasn't luck but she's not so for now he's allowed his sentimental notion.

He does eventually manage to fall asleep, the warmth of her body and the comfortable embrace of her giant bed lulling him into much needed rest.  When he finally wakes for his shift a few hours later, tired but comfortable, he looks down at her, his mandibles pulling wide in something like a smile.  And damn if Shepard wasn't right because right now he can't imagine anything better then waking up with her in his arms everyday for the rest of their lives.  He pulls her close, a gentle purr rattling in his throat then sighs and goes to get up.  Less responsibilities would be nice at the moment but this one in particular helps keep her safe so he can't really be annoyed with his past self.

"Garrus," she mumbles, her eyes closed, obviously mostly still asleep, "Come back when your done."

"Will do," he chuckles, grabbing his eyepiece off the dresser and then putting on his shoes.  He goes to leave her room, turning back to catch one last glance at her only to find that she's already rolled over into where he'd just been on the bed, rubbing her face against his pillow.  He feels his heart clench in his chest.  _Recalibrate those shields and then right back here,_ he thinks, opening the door and heading out into the hall.

"Love you," she says just loud enough that he can barely hear her.

And he knows she's not really awake and that she probably won't remember it anyway but he still says, "I love you too, Shepard," just in case.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Space Hamster: Origins](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7532875) by [FallingT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingT/pseuds/FallingT)




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